Well, it's been a few days since my last post and I thought I would vent a little more to myself again :) Life in the house on the hill is still a pain in the butt! I called housing this week to figure out when we could get a house and there are still 3 people ahead of us which means it's just a waiting game for a new home and because we picked to live in a smaller community it's going to be a bit longer wait because there aren't as many houses. But, thats the main reason we picked this house so we will wait!
I'm looking forward to moving so much these days being in a house were there is nothing but awkwardness is starting to take it's toll on me. I mean I'm a bitch by nature it's just something I am and having to bite my tongue and keep everything to myself only means a harder time for Charlie sicne I cant really talk to anyone else about it. I do have my mom and trust me I take advantage of her ears but Charlie is here and he is seeing it so it's easier to be like did you hear that.. ya know? She doesn't talk to me anymore and hardly acknowledges the kids which is fine her choice. Random thought here but, why is it when someone is mad at you they take it out on your kids first? Thats how my aunts are too! It's like fuck with someone your own age.. Oh wait arent you the elder shouldn't you know better? Yet EVERYONE expects me to be perfect 24-7 but, the old farts in the family are the furtherest thing from just that.
At least I won't have to deal with her all weekend. They have taken Baga(my grandma) to Arizona because her sister (Aunt Florence) passed away last week. I would love to go to be there to support my Baga but, it's not looking like that is going to happen. My prayerts and thoughts will be with the Makin family though and I'll be visiting Baga on Monday night once she is back. I never know what to say when someone loses somene clsoe to them. I feel like everything I can come up with Generic and heartless. I don't deal with death well as we can all see with my Papa passing. It's been almost a year and it really feels like just yesterday my dad sent a TEXT MESSAGE(WHAT THE FUCK!!!) to me in the middle of the night to tell me. Thanks I'll be sure to text you at any important thing from here on out idiot. Anyways I still cry about it almost daily and wish he was still here. I miss him so much.
BACK TO BEING RANDOM! HOLY CRAP LET ME SHARE THIS CINDERELLA CRAP WITH YOU!!!! On Tuesday my Dad and SM(STEP MOM) came home from Utah and there was this black crap all over their tile floor. We did not put it there but, she was not standing for that answer anywas she caused massive drama for my dad because of this. I told my dad I had nothing to lie about thats something so small and dumb to lie about anyways so I cleaned it anyways to stop her from being a crazy bitch and the next day she lectures me about how they didn't put them there and I was pretty much lying and needed to be honest. I was like your kidding me... I don't lie to my dad but, it doesn't matter what I say anyways does it..
Ugh... LIFE ON THE HILL IS NO FUN!!
Well, back to making photo books!!
Friday, May 13, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
Let the DRAMA begin!
Oh hello my sweet blog!
I ask that if ANYONE does read this please keep all negative comments to yourself. I know I complain a lot but, this is my place to do just that so SHUT UP and move on if you don't like it..
Thanks in Advance!
I have always tried to keep a journal but, recently my children have thought its more of a snack then anything important mommy so I thought I would go ahead and catch up with the people around me and start blogging because journals are so OLD SCHOOL right? Anyways I am sure no one will read this but maybe my sister in law Annie will check in from time to time and make sure I'm giving her lots of love... So, Hi Annie! Lets be bloggers together..
I need this to let out all the things I can say out loud because there are to many thoughts that will only cause problems amongst my lovely family.. My old therapist thinks it will help to put my feelings out somewhere but, god knows I can't share them with anyone around me.
Anyways my frustations today are with my dearest step mother. We are currently staying with them while we wait for a house in Santee and I can't help but slowly feel the need to hate her. I know thats a horrible thing to say, trust me I get on peoples cases for using the word hate all the time because it is a very powerful word and shouldn't be thrown around. But, since staying with her I can only see that my feelings that I had prior to my dad marrying her were completely real and true. It's beyond annoying that no one listens to me because they think I'm being dramatic. I know how to be civil and I know that I'm not always being dramatic. And before anyone says anything about the only reason I don't like her is because she married my dad that is not
TRUE at all! I knew my dad would re marry one day and I was okay with that because he is a grown man and can make his own choices and I know that at first I probably woulnd't have liked anyone but, shit I knew she was shady from the start and of course everyone just said Sarah your being dramatic! NO ASS HOLES I'M NOT BEING DRAMATIC get a new line shit! Sorry I know that was harsh but, like I said who is really going to read this. Charlie tells me all the time why let this bother you it's not like they make an effort to see us which is completely true they NEVER visited us at our old house and we always had to drive down to Jamul to see them or let them have the kids. Nothing about that is easy it was an 1 hour and 30 minute drive one way to get here. But, they are at her daughters house almost once a week and go and pick up her kids whenever they want them to stay with them. Can you see where I might become bitter? I love my dad but, I honestly truly hate her. I could go on for days about the problems I have with her but, if thats what I was going to do I should have labeled this blog The Stepmom basher! I'm going to move on now as I'm sure I will be coming back to this subject soon as she really pisses me off..
Charlie has been off work for almost 30 days now and he finally starts up at his new unit this Friday. I am glad to be having him back to work but, at the same time he has been a great help at times so thIt will suck having to go back to doing everything alone. I am excited for him to start up in Point Loma and I am praying that this is a good shop filled with good people for him to submerge himself into. I know how much he hated his old unit and how unhappy he was with the people he worked with so I'm hoping for something better for him. He would never let me know if it was bad or not.. So, I can only hope for the best for him and his new adventure.
Alright Alright! I better leave some more stuff to write about for another time. I promise to myself to keep up with this I need to let everything out!!!
I ask that if ANYONE does read this please keep all negative comments to yourself. I know I complain a lot but, this is my place to do just that so SHUT UP and move on if you don't like it..
Thanks in Advance!
I have always tried to keep a journal but, recently my children have thought its more of a snack then anything important mommy so I thought I would go ahead and catch up with the people around me and start blogging because journals are so OLD SCHOOL right? Anyways I am sure no one will read this but maybe my sister in law Annie will check in from time to time and make sure I'm giving her lots of love... So, Hi Annie! Lets be bloggers together..
I need this to let out all the things I can say out loud because there are to many thoughts that will only cause problems amongst my lovely family.. My old therapist thinks it will help to put my feelings out somewhere but, god knows I can't share them with anyone around me.
Anyways my frustations today are with my dearest step mother. We are currently staying with them while we wait for a house in Santee and I can't help but slowly feel the need to hate her. I know thats a horrible thing to say, trust me I get on peoples cases for using the word hate all the time because it is a very powerful word and shouldn't be thrown around. But, since staying with her I can only see that my feelings that I had prior to my dad marrying her were completely real and true. It's beyond annoying that no one listens to me because they think I'm being dramatic. I know how to be civil and I know that I'm not always being dramatic. And before anyone says anything about the only reason I don't like her is because she married my dad that is not
TRUE at all! I knew my dad would re marry one day and I was okay with that because he is a grown man and can make his own choices and I know that at first I probably woulnd't have liked anyone but, shit I knew she was shady from the start and of course everyone just said Sarah your being dramatic! NO ASS HOLES I'M NOT BEING DRAMATIC get a new line shit! Sorry I know that was harsh but, like I said who is really going to read this. Charlie tells me all the time why let this bother you it's not like they make an effort to see us which is completely true they NEVER visited us at our old house and we always had to drive down to Jamul to see them or let them have the kids. Nothing about that is easy it was an 1 hour and 30 minute drive one way to get here. But, they are at her daughters house almost once a week and go and pick up her kids whenever they want them to stay with them. Can you see where I might become bitter? I love my dad but, I honestly truly hate her. I could go on for days about the problems I have with her but, if thats what I was going to do I should have labeled this blog The Stepmom basher! I'm going to move on now as I'm sure I will be coming back to this subject soon as she really pisses me off..
Charlie has been off work for almost 30 days now and he finally starts up at his new unit this Friday. I am glad to be having him back to work but, at the same time he has been a great help at times so thIt will suck having to go back to doing everything alone. I am excited for him to start up in Point Loma and I am praying that this is a good shop filled with good people for him to submerge himself into. I know how much he hated his old unit and how unhappy he was with the people he worked with so I'm hoping for something better for him. He would never let me know if it was bad or not.. So, I can only hope for the best for him and his new adventure.
Alright Alright! I better leave some more stuff to write about for another time. I promise to myself to keep up with this I need to let everything out!!!
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